I have been thinking about this recently and am wondering if I am alone in my thoughts or if there is company for me from other mums that have looked at how they are doing and feel they are coming up short?
Before having children I had set ideas of how I wanted to parent them. Some of the main ones I’ve listed below:
- I wouldn’t shout at my children
- I would get down on the floor and play games
- I would enjoy getting outside and letting them get dirty
- I would bake with them
- I would instil manners and good behaviour in them
- I would never be bored in their company
- They would eat properly
- I would never wish the day away until bedtime
- I would never smack
- I would never have a child that would bite
- I would be happy
So now a good few years into parenting well not that many but enough to have figured what way is up, how have I done?
- · I wouldn’t shout at my children - Fail I shout far too much and for silly reasons I do say sorry though and give hugs when I am in the wrong.
- · I would get down on the floor and play games Fail I hate playing make believe games, will do crafts etc but playing cars, farms, dolls, schools isn’t for me
- · I would enjoy getting outside and letting them get dirty part fail I enjoy getting them outside and try to let them go into puddles mud etc but am still struggling with this one
- I would bake with them I try to do this but nowhere near enough
- I would instil manners and good behaviour in them I am trying with this and when in others company it does seem to work
- I would never be bored in their company Fail as much as I would love to say I’m not I can’t as there is only so many times I can play the same game, watch the same program and sing the same songs
- They would eat properly dinner times are not much fun, one or other decides against eating most days and we end up taking twice as long over a meal
- I would never wish the day away until bedtime fail most days are fine but sometimes as soon as the day begins I am on a countdown until bedtime
- I would never have a child that would bite Fail Buster has been known to bite his sister and once bit his cousin, we are working on it though and he is improving
- I would be happy I am so happy with my lot but think that I have unrealistic expectations both of being a mum and what my children can do. I forget they are young and expect them to behave at all times when out. I am trying to manage my expectations and in turn enjoy my children growing up rather than worrying about what they are or are not doing.
Both my two are happy, loving and caring children. They are both sympathetic to others and love to mother and look after others whether they are their peers or adults.
They both have a love of life and love simple things and as such we are starting to learn that they don’t need money thrown at things to enjoy them and free activities and reused crafts etc. are just as much if not more fun.
I think I need to try and remember this saying and stop living my life wishing I was better perfect and just make the most of every day.
“There is no way to be a perfect mother, and a million ways to be a good one” - Jill Churchill